a little update. The asshole went to police yesterday, seems like my brother placed his hit well ;-) He has no chance we were told so no problems for my brother. Charlie has a problem with his website. Some asshole abused a bug (Charlie's own code) and deleted many of his website's files. So if you have something of his site in your proxy's cache mail it to him.

I went out tonite to have a cool night. But it went totally different. My silblings Astrid and Alex also came to the Kaserbar, different car but don't matter. I've missed the beginning of the events but they told me what happened. Around 1am some fucking Nazi-asshole said something wrong to my little brother who drunk he beer and cuz the Nazi was still annoying him he smashed his empty glass on the asshole's left ear. I don't know what excactly happened then but short later Astrid - she always defending Alex if he's in trouble, more than I would - was trying to keep the asshole off Alex, I saw that and thought that he was trying to beat her, didn't know that my brother was the one in trouble. Anyways I went to help my sister, tried to separated her and the asshole, learned that my brother was the subject of this fight but didn't care about him. Then some other Nazi (maybe two) tried to beat up my brother and Astrid and I went in. I got one of the assholes, we grabbed each other tight, we fell down to the ground and then the doorman went in, grabbed my really tight and after maybe five seconds I realized who he was and that it was time to give up. The doorman brought my silblings and me out of the Kaserbar in quite a rude way and out there Astrid explained him what's up. The Nazis didn't try to make any bigger trouble (some elbows in my side but I can live with that) and after spending a half hour in the Kaserbar I drove Astrid and Alex back home. I came back but no more assholes only some people asking me about the shit and around half to three I finally drove back home (after bringing Hubi home). Those assholes are annoying everyone, wearing this fucking 'Wehrwolf' slogans on the T-Shirts showing everyone what big motherfucker they are. But afaik they never start a fight, and this night the had success with fucking my brother. I don't know why they are still tolerated in the Kaserbar but if I remeber correctly they never get a drink :-) Alex has not done the best, but also no wrong. My sister, uhh never try to fight against her and me, I fell down god knows what would have happened if I wasn't pulled back by the doorman, but I'm sure the assholes don't wear sandals... My brother has some minor wounds, my sister only three small dots and I got contused rips and shoulders. Nothing serious at our side =-) Kaserbar will be hard for me in the next few weeks but I can live with that. I only need to keep my brohter far away and then everything should be forgotten in a month.

There are people who care about my age so I got some presents. a shirt and 75 EURO from my mom, another 100 for clothes (anyone up for a trade?) (also mom), 50 from my cousine Susi, a very cool special edition of Tolkien's not that know works (Lost Tales & Silmarillion) from my buddy Toni and a 1337 shirt from my sister. Black with a red car and "Heavy Riders on the Road" printed onto it. Really nice from her :-) and Charlie said that he gonna send me a gift, maybe even On the Road by J. Kerouac - which is impossible to get over here in Germany for less than $15. thnx to all of ya

It's snowing today, stopped a few minutes ago but it still sucks cuz I wanted to take my dad's new Golf III (Diesel, lowered a lot and really comfortable compared to mom's Golf II) tonite. Would be cooler with his car. Got my Facharbeit back yesterday. Now I wonder if it was really me who wrote it cuz it simply sux. So many mistakes, sentences I've started but ended differently, pieces I forgot to add or remove. At least I got 15of15 for the content, saved my live ;-) I'm revising it this weekend, so stay tuned for more. I will also put up a better page for it, the pure directory-listing ain't no good at all. Yesterday I was on a second-hand fair. Bought two copies of a English Course for Girls - one copy for my English teacher ;-) Selections from Emerson, two old English dictionaries (60ies), the famous Japanese novel Musashi (in German) and a few more. Altogether a worthy trip

can you be proud of something you didn't do? if you aren't German you surely have missed a discussion that was in the media a few months ago. due to historical facts Germans are seldom proud of being from Germany. if you are you're often called a neo-nazi. But on the other side Germany had 55 years of peace and got back to the TOP3 countries. Either I dislike my country cuz of its far history (and history repeats they say) or love it cuz the success it had. hard to decide. for me there's a third way to decide this question. take only the present, look at the things you're doing right now and how they chenge the future. and then you can say if you're proud or not. present counts history sucks future? ask later

it's raining for a few days now. rain's always a problem for us cuz we're living next to a river and in spring when the snow's melting up in the mountains and if it's raining like this we're in big trouble sometimes. it's all so fucking boring. rain, birthday, bad mood, vanilla sky OST. all that's depressing me again. was quite happy last week and weekend but now...

u know y i really hate my birthday? cuz i didn't do anything for it. actually i'm doing a lo'things against future bdays. i gonna start a countdown this year. no more counting up but down to zero nada null nothing nichts. wanna know where i start? hehe won't tell ya dudes but it's a number between ten and one.

i hate my birthday i hate to be the center of anything i hate attention towards me i don't know why but i dislike my birthdays. this year i tired to solve that problem with drinking. and hell I AM drunken. didn't work :-( i went out tonite, got drunekn and told some people (only the most important) that today is my birhtday. i'm talking about a lot of shit when I'm drunk. like about my total disobidience concerning military/civil service. only one of five told me that the way i go is the best way, although he didn't go it himself. sad, aint' it? sometimes i feel like fighting against invisible, invincible forces. these forces wouldn't care about me if i'd do whatever they tell me to do but cuz I'm not doing it they want to destroy me. i doubt having any chance against these forces after such night liek this one but i also know that my work, my resistance, my disobidience is very important to make this world a better place to live in for the coming generations. at least i hope so.

serve justice - not law

never forget that sentence. never!

I'm surfing aroung at DeviantART a lot these days. I like that page, you see a lot of cool graphics, photos, wallpaper and much more. And the community is also quite cool. Didn't do a lot the last days. Some school, some chess at weekend (I nearly won the last game against Sebi, lost all other), still a bad cough. Boring week :-(

I got 12 of 15 points for my Facharbeit about Jim. Expected more but due the small amount of time I had in January it's full of spelling and grammar mistakes and so I didn't get the 15 it's worth my teacher said. Anyways I can be happy with it and as soon as I get the whole corrected thing back I'll revise it and upload the updated version. Last test in Maths. I failed I'm sure about but it don't matter, can afford that :-) I simply don't understand it anymore.

9 hrs of sleep but I'm still tired and sick. My eyes are aching and my coughing makes people think the end of the world is near. At least it's a sunny day, all blue sky =-) I'm progressing with a small pageselector class written in PHP. Sucha 1 | 2 | >3< | 4 thingy.

You know what's it's all about? Why I'm doing the strange things I do? Why I turn left when told to turn right? Because I want to be unique, special and individual. I fear it's getting harder today to be indivual or to go the way less traveled by. Sure I'm free to choose what to do after graduating from school but if I want to do A I'm forced to do B and C first, knowing that I can handle A even if I don't know about B or fucking C. I don't want to do the same things everyone else is doing, many did that shit before. I want my own way, if everyone would do life his own, special way many would fail that's sure, but a few would succeed and create more beautiful things which would never exist. I don't care if I'm rich, beautiful oder successful as long as I am free to choose my steps. free your mind

truth? died!

I'm sick and I hate to be sick. At least I'm feeling a lot better today than yesterday. I was freezing and when I went to sleep (around 9pm, slept half of the afternoon) I felt like fucking dying. There's nothing worse than being sick. Wrote quite a good History test at Monday, Germany's history between 1945 and 1990. Easy going for me :-) I've read Lonesome Traveller by Jack Kerouac last month. I like his beatnik style, complicated for me but cool stories about railroading, hitchhiking and all the cool stuff. You shoulda read it.